HAHAHAHAHA

So my phone rings this morning, with the regular everyday person ringtone (yes, I have a ringtone for my tenants and a ringtone for my husband). It's the first of the month, so usually my phone is singing George Thoroughgood at me (the tenants' ringtone) about rent. It is a woman on the phone, and the following conversation ensues:

Strange Woman: "Hi, I heard you have a place available for rent?"
Me: "Errr, no not right now, where did you hear that?"
SW: "Um, I thought you did."
Me: "Ahh, nope. But I may soon," (thinking about eviction guy here), "When do you need it?"
SW: "Well, it's an emergency and I need to move now."
Me: "Where did you hear I have a vacant unit?"
SW: "A friend."
Me: "Well, your friend is wrong."
SW: "Ummmm....Will moved out."

DING DING DING DING!!! I knew it.

Me: "Well, Will hasn't talked to me about that, and Will actually owes me $1500."
SW: "Oh, really?"
Me: "Yes, and we actually have an eviction hearing next Tuesday for him. So, I can't exactly re-rent the place to you right now, unless Will magically called me, paid what he owes, gave me his keys, and proved that he was moved out."
SW: "So there's really no chance I can move in today?"

Duhhh.

The LTB (Landlord Tenant Board), when I called them with this stumper, says I should go through with the hearing so that I can get a money judgement even though he's moved out. I am compelled to agree with them. Then I hire a collector and they will hound this kid until his dying day. And I'm glad.

Seriously - on the first of April, when he couldn't pay, he could have called me and arranged something. On the third, when I served him a late rent notice, he could have called me and arranged something. On the 16th when I called him he could have handed me his keys and walked away (I have a months' rent deposit). On the 18th when I served him notice of his eviction hearing he could have called me and only owed me $150 and walked away (court filing fees - it was still within the month that I had a deposit for, no court will award me a proper notice fee). No - he leaves it until 5 days before his hearing, on the first of the month, so that he now owes me $800 and leaves me in a lurch for another month.

Personal responsibility, kids. Get some.